Over the last three weddings we have had the privilege to work on we have been asked many questions like which side should I walk on when my Dad accompanies me down the aisle? We have chosen our bridesmaids and best man but what really should they do to help us? These questions may seem obvious but until I was a wedding planner I had no idea what side I should stand on when my Dad gave me away. I thought we would detail all the main aspects of the wedding party’s role in this blog to help make it crystal clear. Lets start with the main roles and responsibilities of your immediate wedding party.
Once you have understood these, it will make it a lot easier when you decide who to choose to fulfil these very important roles. In the run up the wedding and on the day itself you need plenty of support so pick your team wisely. Two of the most important people are the Chief Bridesmaid and your Best Man, your team leaders if you like.
The Chief Bridesmaid
Lets clear up the names first, traditionally this role was called Maid of Honour if your were unmarried and Matron of Honour if married. Choose someone close to you, your best friend or sister. You really want to spend the morning getting ready with the people you love the most. Its quite an honour to be given this role and this person should generally help you throughout the wedding planning. When things get too much you should be able to rely on your chief bridesmaid to calm you down and give great advice. She must know you really well so that when you occasionally turn into bridezilla or have a “oh its all going wrong” moment she can step in and save the day. Briefly her role comprises of :-
- Friend and confidante throughout the wedding planning.
- Accompany you to wedding dress fittings. Give help and advice on choosing accessories.
- Help with the choice of bridesmaids dresses and pay for their own dresses if necessary.
- Organise a hen party – one that you will like!
- Be available for your wedding rehearsal if you are having one.
- On the day they should help you get dressed. Look out for you generally and oversee the days events.
- Look after your bouquet and make sure you have your essentials close by, lipstick etc.
Bridesmaids
Again choose wisely, surround yourself with calm capable people, usually your best friends. The bridesmaids duties are to support you and help you out with last minute preparations. The chief bridesmaid can delegate tasks to the bridesmaids and everyone ideally should work as a team. They should obviously be present at your hen party and if possible the wedding rehearsal. If you can’t choose between friends for chief bridesmaids then split the duties between them but be clear what each is doing. These days tradition does not have to be followed, its your wedding so do what you want to do in terms of your wedding party.
The Best Man
This is one of the most important decisions the groom should make. The best man has a key role to play during the wedding planning and more so on the day. He really should help the day go smoothly and be excellent support both practically and emotionally for the groom. It will help if he knows the family members so that he can greet them and welcome them on the day. Like the chief bridesmaids role he really is a team leader. If anything goes wrong the best man should be the point of contact. His main responsibilities are listed below:-
- Support and confidante to the groom throughout the wedding planning.
- Arrange a stag party at least several weeks away from the actual wedding day.
- Stay with the groom the night before the wedding.
- Attend the wedding rehearsal if there is one.
- Check that everything runs smoothly on the day.
- Make sure the ushers have their suits and wedding attire.
- Ensure the guests and family are seated in the correct seats for the ceremony.
- Pay any suppliers on the day if necessary.
- Helping the Chief Bridesmaid when necessary.
- Making sure the wedding rings are safe and available at the right time during the ceremony.
- Delivering a great speech.
- Making sure the groomsman have their button holes fitted.
The Ushers
Ushers are generally family and friends of the bride and groom. They work closely with the best man. Generally their duties are much lighter and having the right suit to wear is really the only thing they need to do before the day. Of course they will attend the stag party and help out if needed. On the day its usual for them to:-
- Take directions from the best man.
- Escorting guests and family to their seats for the ceremony.
- Greet family and guests on arrival.
- Give out the order of service at the church or civil ceremony.
- Look out for the brides arrival so that they can alert the best man and officiant.
Who Leads who?
Traditionally the bride walks down the aisle on her fathers right arm (or other male ) followed by her chief bridesmaid who is followed by the other bridesmaids. If flower girls and page boys are very young its a good idea to have the bridesmaids take them by the hand. These days tradition is not always followed. Its very acceptable for the flower girls and page boy to walk down the aisle first followed by the chief bridesmaid and bridesmaids and finally the bride and her father. I think that you should choose how you want to proceed unless anyone such as an officiant has any objections.

Following the ceremony the bride and groom leave first followed by the wedding party.
Well I think that about sums up the main bridal party. Good luck choosing yours.
Until next time, happy planning.
